Looking back 2018 it seems like it flew by but it really brought a lot of change. It brought debilitating illness, financial trouble but most importantly it brought lessons and self-awareness.

In 2018 I finally found out my diagnoses. Having a name for these feelings brings me a little peace and being able to research and see that others have felt like this helps immensely. The feeling that bothered me most was feeling empty and unfulfilled. I tried for a long time to change that, desperately jumping around in life looking for happiness. Once I knew this was a chronic feeling associated with BPD it didn’t bother me much anymore. Being able to work on myself and my relationships through the help of books like “I hate you, don’t leave me” has really helped. It made me look at life and relationships with more realistic expectations. If you haven’t read that book it goes in depth about the condition, the causes and treatments and case studies to illustrate.

As far as goals for 2019, I want to keep working on myself. I need to find a therapist that understands personality disorders, I want to lose weight, I want to save money to go to Japan and I want to spend more time developing my blog. I actually made a bullet journal for 2019 too. I have a page to chart my daily emotions, another to track my daily chores, as well as pages to track exercise, my blog and savings. Bullet journals are a great way to track your mental wellbeing and I look forward to seeing the difference in my emotions chart in the next year.

The end of the year also marked one month since I started this Blog. Since I began I have 1000 more followers on Instagram, over 100 more followers on Facebook and over 500 followers and 200k views on Pinterest. I don’t know if there is some sort of standard for the one month mark of a blog but I am pretty happy with the progress. I know I can put more into it but living with depression and mental illness makes it challenging.

2018 wasn’t perfect but it was necessary for progress and growth. I look forward to growing more this year.

Thanks for a great first month, guys.

You can find more of me on Instagram

@artistically_unhinged

Also look for me on FB and Pinterest!

“New year. New me”

No…I am pretty sure in one year I will still be me. Immensely in love with cats, bad sense of humour and especially insecure and emotional but my hope is that in the very least I can handle life a little easier. We are all a work in progress. A masterpeice to be.