Tag: borderline

Stigma- How Prevalant is Mental Illness?

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I want to talk a little bit about the mental illness stigma. I found some really interesting statistics. It is commonly believed that not many people go through mental illness but did you know that twice as many people in America have a mental illness then have diabetes? 9% of Americans have diabetes but 18% have a mental illness and that’s only the reported cases. I looked up more common diseases as well. Only 1% of the population has HIV, 10% has Alzheimer’s and 12% has arthritis, all less than the amount of people with a mental illness. It really amazed me. And of course there were conditions more prevalent; I was equally surprised to find that 30% of Americans have Autism to some degree.

Point being you may be treated as different but there are literally 43.6 million other people out there who are struggling right along with you. You are not alone. Your situations may be different but at least you know that you aren’t an oddity. You aren’t different. Other people have gone through this and felt the way you are feeling and survived. And that’s oddly comforting.

I know my mentality is worse than my siblings. I hear voices and sounds and see people oozing out of the walls. Inanimate objects argue with me and I have multiple personalities fighting for power within me. I regularly forget that this world is real. I feel like it is a TV show and I am the star and since it’s a show I can say whatever I want and it doesn’t matter because we can always “retake” the scene and none of the other characters matter. I know my siblings don’t break down and lose the ability to speak coherent English but I do know that they understand my anxiety, my depression, my regret and agony over certain events in life and that bonds us together. It makes us stronger because we have each other to fall back on.

So if you feel alone, reach out. You don’t even have to talk or join a support group. I completely understand how that can be scary. I learned a lot about myself from silently following BPD Instagram pages. It was amazing to see other people who felt the very same way I do. It gave me a little sense of peace to understand myself a little better and I even felt a little empowered in a way. Below I put the account names and some of my fav posts of my favorite Instagram’s about mental illness so feel free to take a gander…

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@bpdmatters posts great material about BPD awareness
@mentalhealthawareness.insta
@shawncoss makes amazingly accurate and daunting art portraying mental illness

Interview with an Artist

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Art therapy has been used since the 1940’s on both the young and old in all types of facilities. It is a real way to help ease stress, pain, grief and fear because it helps you to achieve insights, boosts self-esteem, improves interpersonal skills and eases anxiety and tension which in turn eases the tension of such emotion.

I have been vomiting artwork like I ate gas station sushi lately, especially nerdy art. Drawing helps me calm down when nothing else can and express things words cannot. It helps many people such as todays featured artist; Becca. I did a little interview with her to see how her mentality influences her very unique artwork.

How long have you been an artist and do you have any training?

I have been drawing for as long as I can remember, I spent a lot of time in the car as a kid and a notebook was the easiest way to be entertained. Drawing is something I’ve done daily most of my life (with occasional pauses) As for training I read “Drawing on the Right Side of Your Brain” it helped me with realism, then I took one high school art class.

What kind of mental health issues do you have to deal with?

My official diagnosis is Bipolar 2 with a dash of PTSD thrown in to make things exciting. I also have some general anxiety issues. So lots of mood swings, panic attacks, impulse control, insomnia, self-harm, depression, and occasionally the odd hallucination or suicidal ideation. Lots of days feeling like I’m outside of my body, watching myself.

How does your mentality influence your art?

I definitely draw very different things depending on my mental state. If I’m depressed or anxious my art leans to the abstract or horror, when I’m manic or in hypomania it tends to be more detailed/ erotic. For me art can be both a coping mechanism and a mental trigger. While it helps me to release and express a lot of things I need to in a non-harmful way, it can also enhance or prolong some of the mental states that are less healthy…I have to keep tabs on it. For me this means NOT putting myself in a job/position where I MUST draw daily, but instead just remembering to pick up my sketchbook when I need or want to let something out.

What or who inspires you most?

J.W. Waterhouse has always been a favorite artist of mine. I also love the pin up art of Gil Elvgren

How do you get through creative blocks?

Doodling is great and just putting my pencil on the paper a lot of times will help. Sometimes I’ll scrap 4 or 5 pages just to get going. Other times buying a new brush, or pen, or paint set helps, also putting on some good music can get my brain going.

What is your favorite art form to do yourself?

I do mechanical pencil drawings most…but I like all kinds of stuff. Working in felt is great fun and I love to make dolls.

What does artwork do for you?

It gives shape to thoughts and feelings that I couldn’t find words for. It gives me a safe place for the dark and scary bits of my brain to play where they hurt no one. It makes it easier to think when things feel crowded in my skull. It helps me feel part of my life when I’m feeling distant from my body. And it connects me to other people who create, and connecting can be good.

If people want to see more of your work where can they go?

My Instagram is @stop_following_me_you_weirdo

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Artist Study-Edvard Munch

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“Illness, insanity and death, were the black angels that kept watch over my cradle and accompanied me all my life.” –Edvard Munch

I love this quote and once I read Edvard Munches Biography it was obvious why he said this. Both his mom and his sister died from tuberculosis while he was young. Then his other sister was institutionalized for mental illness, his father died and his only brother died of pneumonia.

A big influence in his work was the time he spent as a young one in the Kristiania Boheme, a circle of writers and artists that believed in free love and opposed the narrow minded-ness of the bourgeois.

(The bourgeois being the middle class at that time who wanted more stuff and respect. If it is any help the slang “boujee” comes from that word)

By 1889 Munches impressionism outgrew that group and he also began using more broad paint strokes. He was introduced to the French decadent symbolist poetry that was imbued with a pantheistic conception of sexuality.

His style became really his own in 1892. He used lines to be profound and psychological. His images had violet emotion and unconventional imagery. The scandal about his pieces representation of sexuality and how they always looked unfinished made him famous across Germany. He went on to do paintings, etchings, lithographs and woodcuts, the most famous painting being “The Scream” of course.

Munch was a leader against naturalism and his work led to people using colors expressively not just descriptively. He especially has inspired German expressionists and woodworking. His dark emotional work continues to speak to those today who face uncertainty in this rapidly changing world.

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Welcome!

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Thanks for joining me!

Artists see the world differently. They pay more attention to contours and shadows and color. When I walk a museum I look at the individual brush strokes and strategies used by the artist and when I look at a person or landscape I instantly try to picture what style I would draw or paint them. Are they soft and delicate like a watercolor? Are they as bright and hasty as an expressionist? Are they an edgy anime character or as subtle as a charcoal sketch? So naturally when it came to coping with my mentality pictures were much easier than words.

I had to rewrite this paragraph. I started to state that I AM schizoaffective. But that’s not right. I HAVE schizoaffective disorder. I have a disorder, it’s one of several. But it is not who I am. I am not just a disease.

I have schizoaffective disorder. I also have borderline personality disorder, anxiety disorder and PTSD. 1.6% of Americans have BPD that’s roughly 4 million people. And 3 out of every 1000 people have schizoaffective disorder. Having both is considered more rare. People cower away from talking about mental illness and I don’t understand it. You wouldn’t be ashamed that you have any other illness like cancer or diabetes and mental illness is just as real and more prevalent then you may realize. You can’t just “be happy” or “smile” you need a way to cope.

Medicine may not cut it. Pets are a wonderful therapy, hobbies are a great distraction. Exercise is undeniably an awesome coping mechanism and journaling is proven to help soothe minds and hearts. Personally I am an artist. Or at least I try to be. And in this blog my aim is to share my journey, my life, my illness and my art.

Below I attached some of the styles of art I will be considering. Not all art is classic painting and sketching of course. It can be any form of self-expression such as poetry, acting or dancing. But for now here are a few of my pieces. There is a portrait of an elderly woman I care for, an emotional piece about how I feel with my condition and medications, a modern style Star Wars piece I painted for a coworker as a gift, and an acrylic painting I made for Angel on our first anniversary. I will delve more into all these styles and I also want to try my hand at watercolor, pottery and more. I also want to do studies on artists who had mental illness (not just Van Gogh), I want to do different art projects and share research I have fond about different mental illnesses, stigma and art therapy in addition to my own personal story. So read on, comment, and join me on this journey.

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